Larger than life

I woke this morning to the almost deafening sound of birds! Birds chirping, singing, whistling it was amazing. We have so many birds here. Yesterday I saw the new sandhill crane baby! Seems kinda early but we had an extremely mild winter. After just one little rain shower everything has turned green, a vibrant fluorescent green! It’s almost startling since it seems to have happened overnight! As I walked down to the barn, dogs running and playing by my feet, cats greeting us for the walk, the sounds and colors swirling around me were almost dizzying. I thought about how many times I have walked this path and how each season it feels new. I am happy. The horses nicker softly as I come to feed. Chickens making happy sounds as I gave them some pieces of fruit. Right now we have baby squirrels in the house. They lost their home so we have been bottle feeding them, they are almost ready to be released but still energetically slurping up their bottle. Dogs crunching their kibble, fish hungrily snapping up flakes. It gives me a warm feeling when everyone is happily eating and content.

It makes me appreciate these little morning rituals more knowing that I am here, I am alive. A few years ago I was not so sure. I am now more assured then ever that I am going to be fine. Every night before I go to sleep I tell myself that, “I am healthy and I am strong”and it is true. I went to the hospital last week for my monthly checkup and treatment and my bloodwork looks great! The new meds are working, my markers are down! My doctor is happy, we will stay the course. I feel fantastic! Of course I still have aches and pains but I can deal with them. It took a long time, much longer than I ever could have imagined, but my strength and confidence are growing every day.

I have started painting again with a new revitalized energy. I am moving in a more abstract direction and I am loving it! Each painting is an exploration of the paint and materials that I am working with. I always thought of myself as an explorer! My new work has a freer more energized feeling to it. My soul is happy. This work has been a microcosm of my life. I can’t believe the struggle it has been to get to where I am now! But I am bravely, well most of the time, moving in the direction of my dreams. I am selling off as much art as I can, no reasonable offer refused! To finish building my studio. I need a bigger space! I have been feeling a little claustrophobic in the tiny spare bedroom studio that I have been using. I want to go bigger, bolder, larger than life!

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